The last post here was in March – ugh, did you notice? Well, I did…EVERY SINGLE DAY. Every day, I beat myself up over not posting. This time was going to be different. I was going to post on a regular schedule. But every time I thought about writing, I convinced myself I didn’t have anything to say, so why bother.
Well, that wasn’t true. I had stuff to say, but my inner critic was just speaking louder than my inner brave voice. Poor Little Brave Voice was crushed. She felt unimportant and inadequate. I had to do something – I don’t allow bullying, especially in my own head!
- Talk it out – Giving the inner critic a name, even calling it “writer’s block” made it into something – something I could fight. Sometimes I would talk about it with a friend, and they would boost me up and turn cheerleader, and sometimes they didn’t know what to say, but I wasn’t looking for an answer. I was looking for my voice. Starting to talk about what was holding me back made the wheels turn so I could start writing again.
- Get inspired – Read some other blogs, wander aimlessly through a book store, read magazines, play around with Pinterest, or whatever sparks your ideas to start.
- Get organized – While this is usually a delay tactic for me, getting organized cleared out the clutter in my brain and helped me get my focus back. Make a list, write your goals, draw a mind map of ideas, physically clean up your desktop and set up your writing area to make it work for you rather than distract you (ie. for me, this also means closing Facebook).
- Do something else – Let something not writing related stir up your creativity and get the creative juices flowing again. I painted. I sang. I cleaned my closet. Not only is it good to get the creative cobwebs out, it gave me new things to write about.
- Allow Imperfection – This was really the source of my writer’s block. Fear of not being perfect has been my barricade to life since I was a child. Give yourself permission to make mistakes. I know it sounds crazy, but you have to say it out loud. You need to talk to yourself and change the dialogue. If you say (as I did) – “I always give up on ….” You need to change the tune, friend. Reframe the message and make it positive – “I have inspiring ideas and I am going to share them”. Then, you become your own cheerleader. You wipe out that jerky inner critic with your inner brave voice. Your brave voice believes in first drafts and learning from mistakes. She’s going to get her message out and she’s not afraid of tripping over herself to get it out there….as long as it gets there.
If writing isn’t your thing, change “writing” to painting or drawing or singing or composing. Just don’t give in to that critic – it’s wrong, wrong, wrong.
I’ve spent the last 3 weeks decluttering my house. It’s part of my getting rid of things that no longer serve me, which includes the first 15 lbs I’ve lost on my new program. I feel lighter, happier, more energetic than I have in a long time. I’m letting go. Not long ago, I would have panicked to see the things I’ve accumulated leave, having worked so hard for them. In my marriage, I had to fight for everything I wanted and needed, so when I went off on my own, I started to acquire things. These things made me happy for a brief moment, followed by regret, but still they represented something to me – my freedom. But now I don’t need these tangible things to make me feel I am the one in control of my life. I have that inside feeling of peace (finally). It’s all coming together, or should I say, leaving together – the things, the weight, the regrets and anger and resentment. I’ve found my happy place.
With the help of my sister, my niece and my nephew, I’ve transformed my work area from chaos and clutter to cool. The mood is chill, the air smells like calendar and peppermint that I have diffusing in the room, and the lighting is subtle – white Christmas lights. My dog is snoring on the landing just above my desk, one cat is in her cozy bed at my feet and the other is draped over the couch behind me. All around the room are the things that make me happy and alive. Here are just a few of the things in my room: